Happy Independence Day to my American Friends and Happy Thursday to all!!
2 years ago today I was hospitalized in the Psychiatric Ward during my 2nd out of 3 admissions throughout the entire summer of 2016 until i finally came home in August for good in time fory baby to start 3rd grade. But I was still super sick for at least 6 months following and an intensive outpatient program 5 days a week at the hospital for 6 hours a day. it was by far the worst time of my life, maybe because I didn't realize how serious things were leading up to it both with my mental health and past battles with addiction, but I think mostly because it was so traumatic for my son.
We had never been apart and I think when I told him I was going to be gone for 5 days he was so devastated that's it made things a hundred times worse for me so imagine when it came to be 2 months with me coming home for 2 days just to wind up back in the emergency room and readmitted how much pain it caused me knowing how much pain my then six-year-old son was in. I was under serious attack from the enemy and had been for a long time. No one knew where I was, I remember all the posts on Facebook when I got home and all the texts as I was not allowed to have my phone in my possession and I didn't know how to get ahold of anyone. My poor son was with people who far from comforted him, which kills me to this day every time I think about it but by the grace of God they were there for him to at least be taken care of. It's incredible how God works and how good He is.
None of those people are in our lives anymore, and it's difficult because it's really just my son and me and there is no outside support but the freedom of removing the toxic relationships and the way God works. It is him who took these people out of our lives but who had them there for only the time I was gone. The trials and tribulations and the trauma are what formed my faith and my strength and my son who is now about turn 10 and 1 months amazes me everyday with his wisdom and his faith.
God is so good always...😭🙏
After still recovering when I was coming home and struggling everyday just to get my son to and from school and even leave the house or answer the door, or get up to go to the refrigerator because I was still so sick, but through Jesus I did it it all. There were other slightly supportive people after the main toxic people were removed from our lives by God that have also since been removed. And I made a miraculous comeback. God knew what He was doing. In Jesus name...
Since then, when I recovered I've never been the same, I have a different heart, I still struggle but I am healthier than I've ever been and I don't hold on to toxic people just because I think it is the right thing to do I follow Christ and I use His wisdom and discernment for I know that I do not want to be the king of my soul anymore, I am tired.
He is a mighty savior and this is a summed up testimony but Lord knows how many I have. And I will continue to speak them all.
When I came home from inpatient hospitalization
My son and I were saved by Jesus and baptized in his name in January of 2019. For the last 3 months I have served God more then I ever thought I would put energy like that into anything. and everything becomes so clear because now He talks to me and my assignments are so clear I don't have to question anything. And if I am unsure I just walk by faith. It is so peaceful.
When he first gave me the gift of Entrepreneurshi
He has given us the gift of music, I have always wanted to sing and all of a sudden I can sing for God and with the worship Ministry, I don't even know how that ever happened, yet I do know. And my son playing drums, and doing Christian hip-hop, just brings the biggest Joy you could ever imagine.
Long post which I'm sure nobody will read but lastly I am starting to work with my peer support certificate on Tuesday I go to an orientation. I've only been working from home for two years before that I hadn't been working at all and we were on public housing because of my mental health I never had a dollar. None of that is the situation anymore. Right when I got my peer support certificate I got a job in art therapy and was hanging on by a thread and finally was hospitalized in June of 2016. I've never used my certificate or work since, and as of Tuesday I will be working with addicts. I can't wait to find out exactly where I will be placed and what exactly I will be doing that I don't care because whatever it is is God's will and I will bring the word and the encouragement and anywhere he places me. and I have finally learned it the freedom of not caring what anybody thinks about where I am in life because I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I will still pursue my personal brand work with my son and our company Faith Made Legacy.
But I will be working with people who are in the position that I was in years ago for the majority of my life and I cannot wait to help, encourage and serve. Also continue to Fight Stigma Against Mental Health and Addiction which I have been doing 4 years . believe me it's time to get more involved . I'm not doing this for money, although it will be another income. I haven't been able to work a job out of the house due to my extreme agoraphobia and mental struggles. Those demons have all been taken from me. Don't get me wrong they still visit me and attack me and I struggle all day everyday but I can do all things through Christ. if anyone reads this I guess I am just grateful and I hope that I can encourage. In the Mighty name of Jesus, Amen.🙏
